Setting borders and boundaries with others and requiring enough for myself in relationships was not something that ever came naturally to me, but instead something I had to learn and practice for a good long while before I grasped it. Since I have an easier time “getting” something once it’s put into picture/analogy form, Spam was the picture that was given to me. If this is one of your challenges as well, simply picture the blue can and remember: you’re NOBODY’S spam.
Like the late Rodney Dangerfield, spam does not get any respect. As far as you may be concerned, it lives its life there in a can in your cupboard, just waiting for the day when you’re craving some sort of meat in your sandwich only to find not a speck in your household. So you open your cupboard and spy its shiny blue container, welcoming you with open arms, “I won’t let you down. I’ve just been waiting to come alive by letting you fry me up, slather me with mustard and throw me down between two slices of bread, where you will then consume the very essence of my being, wash me down with a glass of milk and not acknowledge me again until you get another craving that leads you back to my shiny blue container.” And you see, spam is cool with that. That’s the thing about spam- it’s just too damn easy.
People, on the other hand, regardless of how they may appear to you, are not. They are complex individuals, ideally changing gradually and metamorphosing into more admirable versions of themselves over time. Unlike spam, you can not leave them to sit indefinitely in their shiny can expecting them to be there waiting for you to seek them out during your next craving for something with substance. Spam will do that. People should not. Not because they can’t be counted on, but simply because they require more for themselves. Sometimes it just takes them a while to realize it.