“Understanding from others is like dessert: enjoyable when you get it, but not necessary for your survival.” -LA Holmberg
You don’t need the world to understand you. You may want the world to understand you, but you don’t need them to.
Desiring understanding from the outside world is similar to money in the sense that it becomes most available to you when you need it the least. Financially speaking, if you have a substantial amount of money and assets, you have what you need to secure more money and assets. Whether this seems unfair to you is irrelevant. This is yet another instance where I am going to ask that you drop the labeling. Right, wrong, fair, unfair, yada yada yada- there is unfairness in the world. If you haven’t yet reconciled yourself to this it is what it is fact, I urge you to work on it, because as a person who has struggled tremendously with a need for fairness, my path became a whole lot easier to navigate when I adapted to what clearly was instead of bemoaning what should have been. Maybe you feel it should be, but it isn’t. Capisce? The upside of resigning yourself and adapting to what is is that you can put what is to work for you in every area of your life.
How do you do this? By giving yourself what you need. It’s the 5 word secret that is so basic you probably aren’t even aware that you’re not doing it. But if you require understanding from others, you’re not. The only one that needs to understand you is you. That doesn’t mean you “do unto others, then split” (my fave 1970’s era bumper sticker 🙂 ) but if you are trying your best to live a life of integrity and uprightness and basing your decisions by virtue of those qualities, being accountable and accepting responsibility for your life decisions, you do not need to waste energy worrying about how others feel about it or whether they understand. Period. At the end of the day, they are not the ones living your life. YOU are.
If you think you don’t possess the fortitude necessary to go boldly forward in your own truth without the acceptance of others, let me assure you that you do. It just requires a new way of perceiving yourself and lots of practice. For the former people-pleasers out there (hand raised) it may help to do some visualizing in the beginning. Yes, that means pretending– stick with me here. See yourself as split into 2 people. Get that inner badass that is within each of us out of yourself and “see” them beside you at all times. Really feel them there. Let the other half of yourself give yourself everything that up until this point you believed you needed to obtain from outside sources. Sound a little too woo woo for you? That’s okay. Use whatever method you come up with that achieves the bottom line of you getting what you need from yourself. It may feel foreign and fake at first, but as you grow in it and become adept in giving yourself what you need rather than relying on others to fulfill wants and desires that many times they are not even aware of, you will feel the empowerment of understanding that you truly are in control of your destiny. And that’s the kind of understanding that will serve you.