Never better! is your answer. Were you wondering what the question was? The question is (drumroll here for effect) How are you? That’s it. Never better are the only two words you actually ever need to reply when somebody casually asks you how you are. Sound nuts or harsh to you? Good! Your deprogramming has begun…
If you are a person who automatically answers, “fine”, or “doing great”, when asked how you are, and are perplexed that there are people who interpret those words as anything other than a greeting disguised as a question, consider yourself blessed. This next statement is not for you because you already figured it out long ago- lucky you! Why should you declare nothing but never better when asked how you are? Because nobody really cares how you “are”. That may sound harsh to you, but if you haven’t yet realized that fact, somebody needed to give you a ice-water-to-the-face reality check and it may as well be me. You’ll thank me later, I can assure you. Don’t go getting a weepy, poor me attitude about nobody caring for you. It’s not about that. It’s about the fact that there is rarely a good reason to spout off a list of your aches, pains, and various assorted troubles to a random acquaintance or people you are not often in contact with. And while it may be understandable if you’re engaging in meaningful conversation with a person you’re close to, it’s still a good idea to choose your words carefully. Why? Because nobody is listening to your words as intently as you are and you are believing them. Going on at length about your inadequacies, insufficiencies, aches, pains, and other misfortunes threatens to bring down the energy of all involved- including yourself, disempowering yourself in the process. You believe what you’re hearing and your life takes its shape from that- slowly and seemingly silently, but always surely. Reinforce the positive and you’ll bring in more of the positive. Wallow in the negative, and well- you guessed it. Saying never better is not about being fake, but instead, operating in an energy of faith that good things are in the process of coming your way. Is this always easy to do, especially during difficult times when you’ve got a dam within that threatens to burst and spill over onto the first person who shows even the slightest bit of interest in your current state? Hell no! Would I need to develop all these mantras, affirmations, scripted answers, and other coaching mechanisms to train myself with if it was? 🙂 Let me just say that I have a much easier time building the muscles of my body than I do the muscles of my being, but as with those, I show up each day willing to do the work. That’s all that’s required of you.
If you’re questioning the philosophy of the never better stance, I urge you to take a moment and consider why that is and whether an unexplored need for drama may be involved. Before you dismiss the possibility, consider examining the reasons you would want to share negative information regarding yourself with another person in a casual situation. Keep in mind, we’re not talking the one-on-one planned meeting for an intimate heart-to-heart with someone close to you, but rather, the ran into them at the grocery type of scenario. Ponder this next question carefully, because understanding your intent is key in providing insight as to the whys of your behavior. Just what type of reaction are you hoping to elicit from this other person with your answer to “how are you”? Is there a possibility that you are looking for their sympathy due to a need for attention? Do you want them to know just how much you’re going through so that you can feel their pity while you wallow in your “poor me-ness”? I’m not giving you a shame spank here- most of us have been there. The question is, do you want to stay there? I knew I didn’t. As Joyce Meyer says, “You can be pitiful or powerful, but you can’t be both.” I choose power. DAILY. On purpose. By coaching myself into it. You can too. So, how am I doing? Never better, friend. Never better.
“What we think about and THANK about is what we bring about.” (The Secret)