Friends with benefits

According to 
(used as a euphemism) a friend with whom 
one has sex 
without a romantic 
relationship or commitment

We’re not going to talk about friends having sex, though it’s an interesting topic. I will say I don’t believe that it works. For both people. It always seemed to me that in the majority of cases one person may be completely benefiting, but the other is kidding themself. Because they want more. But they’ll settle for less. Because they’re getting some. And by “getting some” I don’t mean the sex. Which is a personal call as long as they are aware of what they’re actually doing and have peace with it. But we’re not going to talk about “just” friends having sex today, though you may have noted that I will always find a reason to talk about sex if the opportunity presents itself. And who are we kidding here as I’m the presenter! But since I have a glaring reminder note pinned up on the board in front of my face admonishing me to

“Remember to keep the main thing the MAIN THING.”

-Brendon Burchard

That’s what I’ll do! Thank you Brendon. My point is that you do not have to believe to benefit. Believe in what?  you may be asking. ANYTHING! is my answer. As in, you don’t have to believe in any information that is presented to you in order for you to receive benefits from it. Much like the way friends with benefits can have “sex without a romantic relationship or commitment” you can receive inspiration or motivation from a message regardless of your “belief in” the messenger if you choose to. Whether you realize it or not, the ability to glean benefits from messages you don’t believe in (agree with, align with, particularly “like”, etc…) is a sign of an open mind. An open mind is essential in breaking through the walls of the conditioned thinking that hold you in place, allowing you to see beyond that which you believe you already “know”. I’ll use music as an example. Most of us are partial to certain genres, perhaps even professing to “hate” genres we feel don’t particularly speak to us. In my younger years, long before I’d grasped the message I’m sharing now, I believed I didn’t “like” the music of Eminem so I didn’t listen to it. I could have given you several reasons, the main one being that I felt the energy of what I perceived as a chip on his shoulder and the negative comments about other people in his songs bothered me. But then the universe threw one of his songs in my lap and this time I opened my mind.


"'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
you feel weak
And when you feel weak
you feel like you want to just give up
But you gotta search within you,
you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you
and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter,
no matter how bad you want to
just fall flat on your face and collapse"
-Luis Resto, Nate Dogg, Eminem

This time I heard him. And in hearing him I gleaned the benefit of his message at a time time when I needed it. More importantly, I continue to hear the message whenever I’m at a giving up point in an endeavor, and it reminds me of how to coach myself onward- what I need to be telling myself. I am reminded to just pull that shit out of me. To not be a quitter, no matter how bad I just want to fall flat on my face and collapse. And I keep going, grateful for the message that inspired me, appreciative that I was given the grace to see past my human conditioned opinions and beliefs, allowing me to collect my benefits.

I’m a broken record in reiterating the fact that you are your own coach because I want you to grasp the fact completely that the most powerful words you are led by are the ones you tell yourself! This is why the most essential thing you can do on your journey is to learn how to speak to yourself in an empowering manner. Always. Without fail. Every time. This is a lofty expectation, but luckily you are not expected to go it alone. In opening your mind and heart rather than relying on the need to believe it first, you will find that messages of encouragement, inspiration, and information are delivered to you on a frequent basis. You don’t need to believe it, or me, for that matter. You simply need to sift through what’s being offered, take out the part that speaks to you and leave the rest behind. People, movies, pictures, stories, music, etc… are part of your benefits package. Are you open to receiving it?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.