Here’s my no-fail method for dealing positively with getting older: get out of the mirror. It’s so basic that it sounds like a joke, but I’m completely serious. I’m average in the looks department- one of those people whom others often refer to as “cute”, though at 54 I’m well past what can reasonably be considered middle age, so I consider that a favorable adjective. Since I can rarely see what other people actually look like on the outside once I’ve spent time getting to know them I assume, sometimes incorrectly, that it’s the same for others and don’t dwell on it. If I’m at the right place in my own head, other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter. I’m aware at this point in my life that it will only matter if I believe it matters, and at the moments I “feel” like it matters, I know it’s time to slow down, breathe (do you realize how helpful breathing is?) and pinpoint what the actual source of my uneasiness is. I wish I would have understood this concept in my younger years when I wasted time berating my nose or ruining a perfectly good time over a bad hair day and couldn’t relax knowing my hair didn’t look good. If my hair wasn’t okay, I wasn’t okay. It’s not that I don’t occasionally feel the shock of what the hell has gone on here? upon getting an unexpected glance at my reflection, but it was laid on my heart that wallowing in feelings of despair over appearance is a disempowering behavior that required correction, because if I’m fixating over myself and all that I am not on my exterior, I become ignorant of all that I am within, which leads to insecurity. If I’m insecure I am then unable to project the gifts of encouragement and empowerment that have been placed inside of me because I’m too wrapped up in that insecurity to see anybody else, thereby keeping me from my purpose, which then steals my joy. Staying out of the mirror allows one to extend beyond their physical looks to be who they are; a spirit inside of a physical body. Fixation with your exterior is a behavior that pulls you to the lower vibration level of the world, whereas focusing your attention on what’s within allows you to abide in a higher vibration, providing you with vision and resources within and around yourself that you are unaware of when you’re operating at a lower vibration. Ever notice the disparity in your productivity on a “good mood” day vs. a “bad mood” day? Exactly.
There’s nothing wrong with making the most of what you have and striving to look your best. But there’s a line between putting your best foot forward and making yourself and those around you miserable by bemoaning your imperfections. In getting over myself I retrained my thoughts to align with more empowering behaviors. I now get myself fixed up and then get out of the mirror. I refer to it as “fix it and forget it“. As soon as I begin to sadly sigh while gazing at my often hormonally puffy eyes, or the other injustices that show up on my over-50 face, I stop myself in my tracks and get out of the mirror, reminding myself of my focus with this 3 word mantra: “Projection not Reflection”. If I stop looking at the outside it’s easier for me to focus on bringing out what’s there on the inside, enabling me to more readily see it in others as well. And that is much more memorable than what’s in any mirror.