{"id":3492,"date":"2025-06-02T10:18:10","date_gmt":"2025-06-02T14:18:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=3492"},"modified":"2026-04-21T08:02:28","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T12:02:28","slug":"everybody-hurts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=3492","title":{"rendered":"Everybody Hurts"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Truly identifying the pain within another often requires taking yourself out of the equation and stepping back from the situation enough to <strong><em>see<\/em><i>\u00a0<\/i>it and them<\/strong> without your eyes (<em>logical mind<\/em>). This requires a firm refusal to take offense, made easier by understanding that <i>it&#8217;s <strong>not about you<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<p>This type of understanding of others becomes easier as you grow in becoming loving and accepting of <strong>yourself<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Those gifted with the ability of more readily sensing the empowering energy in others generally do not have difficulty sensing their pain. In fact, we absorb their pain so easily that we become confused as to where <strong>they end<\/strong> and <strong>we begin<\/strong>, causing us to believe that <i>we are responsible for<b>\u00a0relieving<\/b>\u00a0their pain,\u00a0<\/i>which we have now confused as being\u00a0<i><b>our<\/b>\u00a0<\/i>pain.<i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<p>This is where learning to construct effective borders and boundaries, a skill that rarely comes naturally to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/what-is-an-empath#fa-qs\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">empaths,<\/a>\u00a0becomes essential.<\/p>\n<p>Extending compassion and understanding to another being while <strong>they work through their own<\/strong> pain for the sake of healing benefits everyone.<\/p>\n<p>But allowing yourself to take<i>\u00a0responsibility<\/i> for another person&#8217;s pain by taking it on and becoming a hostage to mistreatment (that you excuse due to an understanding of their pain) hurts everybody involved. None the least of which is <b>you<\/b>.<\/p>\n<p>If you are recognizing yourself at all here, please pay attention to what I am saying regarding <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/en\/book\/show\/60706850\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">borders and boundaries.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>They may not come naturally to some of us, but as with most everything, they <a href=\"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/2024\/02\/07\/i-need-a-rush\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">can be learned.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Truly identifying the pain within another often requires taking yourself out of the equation and stepping back from the situation enough to see\u00a0it and them without your eyes (logical mind). This requires a firm refusal to take offense, made easier by understanding that it&#8217;s not about you.\u00a0 This type of understanding of others becomes easier [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":111895055,"featured_media":11175,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":true},"categories":[91,19129],"tags":[609022,61437,1212,789572023,12188,337,116588,2885,7383,38245,82348,3059],"class_list":["post-3492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogging","category-personal-development","tag-empath","tag-empowerment","tag-energy","tag-fitness","tag-healing","tag-health","tag-mindfulness","tag-motivation","tag-pain","tag-personal-growth","tag-suffering","tag-understanding"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/if-you-never-heal-from-what-hurt-you.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p81q0n-Uk","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8385,"url":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=8385","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":0},"title":"1 (what I believe to be)Mind Blowing Sentence","author":"LA Holmberg","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"In a gimmicky, lure-in-more-readers effort, I could have written that title as 1 Mind Blowing Sentence That Will Change Your Life, but: who am I to say what will change your life? Who is anybody to claim that? It took most of my life to realize that nothing meant to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/pain-is-not-a-punishment-pleasure-is-not-a-reward.-e28095-pema-chodron-1-2623218123-e1696010275984.png?fit=575%2C513&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/pain-is-not-a-punishment-pleasure-is-not-a-reward.-e28095-pema-chodron-1-2623218123-e1696010275984.png?fit=575%2C513&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/pain-is-not-a-punishment-pleasure-is-not-a-reward.-e28095-pema-chodron-1-2623218123-e1696010275984.png?fit=575%2C513&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10788,"url":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=10788","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":1},"title":"A story of feelings (and Agree shampoo)","author":"LA Holmberg","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Early morning is my favorite time of the day. Ever since I can remember, I've been, and prefer to be an earlier riser, but that said, I've always found 4-6 am to be an especially sensitive time of day. Combine that with a heightened sense of smell and empathic tendencies,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/i-am-safe-there-is-plenty-all-is-well2.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/i-am-safe-there-is-plenty-all-is-well2.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/i-am-safe-there-is-plenty-all-is-well2.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/i-am-safe-there-is-plenty-all-is-well2.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/i-am-safe-there-is-plenty-all-is-well2.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9868,"url":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=9868","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":2},"title":"I don&#8217;t have it all together","author":"LA Holmberg","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a time in my life when I was afraid that people would find out I was an imposter. I often felt I needed to be better than I was to be better at what I do. Until the truth was divinely laid on my heart. So as a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/the-privilege-of-a-lifetime-is.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/the-privilege-of-a-lifetime-is.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/the-privilege-of-a-lifetime-is.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/the-privilege-of-a-lifetime-is.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9912,"url":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=9912","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":3},"title":"Unconditional Love","author":"LA Holmberg","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm not a fan of organizations or structures that are based around rigid rules and rituals that often cause others to feel excluded or harshly judged. Organized religion often comes off that way to me. Which is not to say that I don't believe in \"God\", because I do believe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/power-source2.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/power-source2.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/power-source2.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/power-source2.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3573,"url":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=3573","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":4},"title":"The 5 word secret","author":"LA Holmberg","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"This is a repeated post that I actually should be running on a loop because it's a \"hard to reach\" soul muscle I perpetually require strengthening of\u2026 What is the 5 word not actually a secret \"secret\"? Give yourself what you need. You don't need the world to understand you.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/understanding-is-like-dessert.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/understanding-is-like-dessert.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/understanding-is-like-dessert.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/understanding-is-like-dessert.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6272,"url":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?p=6272","url_meta":{"origin":3492,"position":5},"title":"Quieting the Logical Mind","author":"LA Holmberg","date":"","format":false,"excerpt":"Perhaps it's not the \"logical\" mind that I'm talking about as much as human nature that\u00a0seems magnetically drawn to mimic the behaviors of our peers and deem them\u00a0a favorable formula to emulate. Logical seems a subjective term, because perhaps you\u00a0don't\u00a0consider following the herd mentality to be logical at all. Perhaps\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/your-work2.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/your-work2.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/your-work2.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/your-work2.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/laholmberg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/your-work2.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/111895055"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3492"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11166,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3492\/revisions\/11166"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11175"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laholmberg.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}