Connection is at the core of everything that’s important to me and it’s my belief that optimal communication is the essential bridge in helping us to achieve it.

In a world where especially as of late there seems to be an inordinate amount of division and disagreement, it’s become more crucial than ever to attain the skills and tools necessary to learn to be an effective communicator.

Talk less. Listen more.

I. have. so. much. to. learn.

But as I said in the last post, that’s why I’m here.

The thing is, I do really love to learn. And the great thing is, the more dysfunctional I’ve become aware that I actually am, the easier it’s becoming to keep my own mouth shut.

In order to learn, and also because of what I’ve learned thus far, my shut up and listen up muscle is increasing in strength.

This sometimes excruciatingly gradual (SLOW in terms of earthly time) building and strengthening process has afforded me the realization that most of the things I once thought I knew became suspect, requiring follow-up questioning regarding their validity upon beginning to UN-learn that which I believed I knew only to have my eyes opened to additional information I was not privy to earlier on due to many things, none the least of which was viewing life mainly through the limiting lens of my own experience without the wisdom it took to understand that was what I was doing.

Grasping that about oneself is both sobering and empowering.

Because upon understanding that the thoughts and awareness of today’s truths and fallacies by today’s you may most likely be perceived by tomorrow’s you in a completely different light, you often wish you had a magical eraser that would eliminate any traces of contradiction between yesterday’s you and today’s you, banishing any telltale tracks linking you to what you may first interpret as a “lesser” version of yourself.

But I don’t see it that way anymore, and here’s where the empowerment comes in.

Who is to say that a seed is lesser than the plant that germinated from it? Or that the plant is lesser than the fruit that grows on it? Or that the fruit is lesser than the juice created from it?

Birth, growth, creation. No one phase is lesser than the other- they all have their roles in the cycle.

So I’ve come to interpret my own evolution and the evolution of others in the same manner. I no longer assume I can necessarily know who someone is today based solely on who they were yesterday or who I think they may become tomorrow.

This belief is at odds with my father’s “tigers are tigers and leopards are leopards” mentality.

I’ve finally reconciled myself with the fact that neither one of us is more right than the other. We just see things differently. I also know it’s not a “conversation” I want to have with him when I’m in a sensitive mood and ready to bring anything less than thick-skinned-hardass- A-GAME debating skills.

Because that is frequently where his conversational style leads him.

But that doesn’t mean I have to join him there, or if I do find myself there, I can choose not to take his words personally.

I know that now, because I learned it from Jefferson Fisher:

I’m so appreciative of all I’ve learned from him so far, and all I’ve yet to learn from his new book The Next Conversation, which I’m currently reading.

Rather than sonuva bitch any humble beginnings that may not have afforded you the knowledge, skillsets, and optimal tools that would have served you best later on, dig deeply now into your own “raising” by taking responsibility for your education in any way you can do so.

As it turns out, the world is our classroom.

More on this in future posts.

MUCH MORE. 😃