There’s no way I’d have been able to stand by silently and cheer with the crowd for clothes I could clearly see the emperor was not wearing. In that same vein, I refuse to acknowledge Valentine’s Day as anything beyond a commercialized event. Let’s call a spade a spade- the emperor was naked and Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with love.
I enjoy a celebration as much as the next guy. But a celebration based on a lie that comes at the expense of others- the others in this scenario meaning anybody who is left feeling lesser than in any way, shape, or form because they have failed to manifest a Valentine into their life, is NOT a celebration! Or perhaps they have a romantic relationship going on, but Valentine’s Day has caused them to question its nature based on factors such as how their Valentine’s Day was celebrated, what kind of gift was given, and how these measured up in comparison to what others received. In other words: the world made a decision on what love (in the form of a mythical holiday) “should” look like and if what you’ve got going on doesn’t resemble that, it’s wrong. But to cook up a false day, place a label of “love” on it, and fill minds with preconceived expectations that would be nearly impossible to reach, that’s somehow right?
I spent a good portion of my life questioning my inner conflict with Valentine’s Day, wholeheartedly attempting to embrace it, but we weren’t cohesive from the get-go. In my dating years I was actually broken up with ON Valentine’s Day by 3 different guys, in 3 completely different situations. I’d eventually acknowledge that though I was the dump-ee, I actually instigated each of the break-ups and the fact that they occurred on a day of celebrating “love” was no coincidence. My heart of hearts knew Valentine’s Day was fake, but yet I used this “symbolic and important day” looking for demonstrative meaning from each of them- a gift, a display, poetic words- something that would “prove” to me that there was more there between us than what I knew actually was. I’d have said then, in regard to their “Valentine offerings” that they were mailing it in and that was accurate. I sensed their waning interest and pushed for the break-up. Never wanting to be the bastard in the scenario, I turned it around so the breakup was their idea. And while it was what they wanted, I may simply have been made aware of it before they fully were. Yeah, I’m tricky like that 😉 The truth was, they couldn’t have given me what I was looking for and it would be many years and soul workouts later before I’d even know what that was.
What’s the simple secret to not allowing an occasion like Valentine’s Day or any materialistic measurement of self-worth lead you into feelings of being lesser-than? GIVE YOURSELF WHAT YOU NEED. It’s not a secret and it may be simple, but like all soul stamina training, it’s not easy. Any time we feel lesser-than for any reason, it means we’re not practicing it. And that is the workout. Identifying that when you’re feeling sadness, frustration, or anger about something another person is “not giving you” it’s actually alerting you to what YOU are not giving YOU; something from your own being that you’re meant to decipher and create for yourself. Love isn’t something you’re on the hunt to “get” from others, but instead, something you ARE, and you are responsible for maintaining its sustenance. Get it flowing so fully and plentifully from within that it freely overflows to all you encounter on your journey. No candy, flowers, or paper hearts required.