On the flip-side: the weight loss smackdown

Let’s get to the meat of the matter and for once, nothing else. Yeah, I know- extremely hard for me. I’m all about the “something else”. But for today, meat of the matter ONLY. You want to lose weight and you want to do it yesterday. Preferably without the bells, whistles, and what you may consider to be the airy-fairy-new-age-woo-woo bullshit in my last post. Much like Nick (bartender) to Clarence (angel) in It’s A Wonderful Life, who has taken far too long to arrive at his choice of drink for Nick’s liking and has then added insult to injury by ordering a “mulled wine- heavy on the cinnamon, light on the cloves.” to which Nick then barks:

“Hey, look, Mister, we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast. And we don’t need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere. Is that clear? Or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?”

Nope, nobody needs to slip me their left. If you want your weight loss advice in one fast in-your-face-get-real-smackdown-double-bourbon-shot equivalent, here it is: shut your mouth and be willing to get uncomfortable. Yep, that’s truly the “secret” key. It’s one of those answers that everybody says they’re aware of but few are willing to actually implement. If you believe you’re doing everything and still not losing weight, let me ask a few sample questions based on the shut your mouth and be willing to get uncomfortable key:

  • Are you ever hungry?
  • Do you stop eating at least 3 hours before you go to bed at night?
  • Do you avoid processed foods?
  • Do you avoid drinking alcohol or sugary drinks? (And yes- most fruit juices are also sugary drinks)
  • Do you exercise regularly- to the point of breathing hard and sweating?
  • Do you eat a mainly plant-based, whole foods diet and watch portion size?
  • Are you aware of and make allowances for any food intolerances?

I say sample questions because these are just a few examples, but if you answered no to any of them, it isn’t true that you are doing everything you can to lose weight. As this is a smackdown, I’m not going to implore you in my usual manner to examine the spiritual, psychological, or emotional reasons for the whys of what you do, I’m just going Bartender Nick on you and giving a double shot of the truth for those who want to lose weight fast. Nothing comes for nothing and you will get back based on the effort that you put forward. You want to lose weight fast? Quit your whining and complaining and be ready to give something up. Be willing to feel the irritation of a growling stomach, the ache of a body pushed out of its comfort zone, the discomfort of riding out feelings that arise when you give up the habitual “pacifiers” of alcohol, sugar, cigarettes, and other vices. Be willing to get uncomfortable. Can you do this? I already know YOU CAN! But the question is as always: are you willing to? That’s your call.

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