I’ve just begun reading Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body Is Not An Apology and one word: WOW. As I dig deeper in, there’ll be more words, but already I know there’s another two: THANK YOU.
Because I love when somebody can delve wholly into one of my “I once was lost, but fully believe I’ve been found, revived, healed, and ready to preach the gospel of my newfound awareness” areas of vulnerability (in this case, my long and complicated relationship with my body) and turn my beliefs on their ass.
This book, along with a few other recent divine thwacks from the universe, have awakened me to the realization that:
I’m still lost.
I may never actually be “found” in a manner my human brain could comprehend as being so.
And my healing is far from complete.
So essentially, I was f*cked, I’m still f*ucked, and I’ll continue to be f*cked? How can I possibly encourage others to have a healthy relationship with their bodies if I don’t fully have a healthy relationship with my own body and I didn’t even realize it?
The dark shadow voice had begun to have its way with me.
Until I was reminded of what I need constant reminding of when it comes to my actual role in helping others:
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, LISA.
It’s not about ME.
It’s not about me having it all together and writing posts with the intention of further displaying (that old APPEARANCES chestnut again) to others that: she has it all together– in essence saying, “Look at me, I have it all together and if you people would just follow along and do like me, you can have it all together too.” That would be ego. Ego longs for followers.
Ego loves to manipulate our human side and attempt to take the spotlight. And being human, I’ve often allowed it to.
But not today.
I’m working with a more powerful source and was reminded (as I’ve been reminded many times and most certainly will be reminded many more) of my role, which is not intended to be compared to the role of others or to question or judge anybody else’s role as being “right” or “wrong” regardless of what level they’re operating from.
My role here is as a vessel for the message.
Words are given divinely through me with the intention of encouraging any who seek encouragement. They are not MY words, as in MINE. They are mine only in the sense that they’re mine to share. Only in the sharing does their power become activated.
I haven’t mastered the content of these messages- I require these messages.
I’m a perfectly imperfect person seeking this encouragement, showing up each day, open-hearted and open-minded to learning. That’s the only requirement.
Ego wants followers, but the divine universe (whatever higher power source you recognize as resonating within you) relishes in seekers, learners, and all who are open to wonder.
That’s all of us.
Because you see, the universe understands what we often forget about ourselves: we’re each meant to lead in the life we’re living.
And there’s no ONE way to do so. No specific look, or manner, or this-is-the-“right”-way-and-anything-other-than-this-is-“wrong” method.
We’ve already got everything within that we need to lead ourselves forward in grasping the truth of our capacity, but true realization of this can only be obtained in making the journey.
An infinite mile journey essentially leading us back to where we started.
Having developed new eyes in which to view it.