SOB or SAC? Your choice.

Who’s “wronged” you?

Perhaps you’ve been: (fill in your blank)

• mindfucked
• deserted
• failed
• betrayed
• belittled
• humiliated
• used
• sabotaged
• thrown under a bus, etc…

To all the SOB’s I’ve loved before- friends, family, lovers, etc… as well as those I didn’t love, may not have even known, but have been angered, annoyed, or irritated by into acknowledging and accepting something within myself, I send out this whole-hearted message:

THANK YOU, Spiritual Agents of Change.

If that seems contradictory, allow me to share this empowering tidbit that I hope you’ll tuck it in your back pocket for future access when you need it most:

Blessed are the SOBs in our lives when we reframe them as SACs (Spiritual Agents of Change).

-LA Holmberg

Stick a pin in the word reframe– we’ll be circling back to it often in the future. It’s one of the most powerful tools you can stow in your spiritual toolbox. Awareness and utilization of reframing and cognitive restructuring techniques is a game changer. It makes you aware that the ball is always in your court.

How’s that?

The ball is always in your court through the realization that the person you see in the mirror is the only one you’re up against. Your behaviors, your mind, your beliefs, your ideas, your conditioning, your trauma, your injuries, etc… Essentially, all the aspects of your human-ness that when engaged, either move you forward or keep you stuck.

You’re the ONLY one in charge of you.

You’re the captain of your ship, the director of your show, the leader of your pack… need I go on?

You can’t change anyone but yourself.

You’re not responsible for anyone else’s behavior. Or fixing it. Or understanding it. Or them.

You’re on your own court engaging in a game of one-on-one against yourself.

And so is everybody else.

It often won’t seem like that and it definitely doesn’t feel that way in the midst of it, but that’s because it requires overriding our human default mode of taking on personally what another person is actually showing about themselves.

And being okay with it. Or not being okay with it.

Or being okay with them, for that matter.

But when we interpret the discomfort, pain, irritation, or whatever response brought about by them as being done for us rather than to us by using our other eyes, we’re afforded access to a bigger picture.

Ah, the power of an all-access pass…

Access to a broader understanding occurs when we are able to create space between the situation and our feelings about it in order to glean objective information from it. Information that once applied, has the power to bring about healing and growth, strengthening the muscles of our being.

And within this information lies the greater awareness that it’s not about you. Well, I mean your life is ALL about you, but what they do is about them, not you.

But you can benefit from it.

We each have the capacity to benefit from one another in this manner when we employ our other eyes.

Because we’re all SOBs and SACs. Depending on the circumstance, situation, and also how we frame it.

Everyone leaves you with something. You decide what that is and that’s what you’ll carry with you. It’s always your choice. Choosing to take away the empowering lesson rather than dwelling only on the circumstances that led to it brings me peace.

I often allowed continued “questionable treatment” from people I loved because I “just couldn’t stay mad at them even if I tried” so the understanding that removing myself from their path wasn’t about being mad took time for me to grasp.

Time, soul workouts, and strengthened self-awareness gave me the momentum to acknowledge and exit any relationship that the universe has indicated is not intended for this current leg of my journey.

Not because I’m mad or stopped loving them, or stopped believing in the brilliance of their being (that one especially almost always a misplaced factor for me in my reticence to let go)

but because I’ve healed to a level that recognizes going forward with them not only doesn’t serve either of us for a variety of reasons, but has also become a deterrent to further necessary growth- mine as well as theirs.

What they “did to for me” helped me to see this.

So thank you SAC, Next.