Truly identifying the pain within another often requires taking yourself out of the equation and stepping back from the situation enough to see it and them without your eyes (logical mind). This requires a firm refusal to take offense, made easier by understanding that it’s not about you. 

This type of understanding of others becomes easier as you grow in becoming loving and accepting of yourself.

Those gifted with the ability of more readily sensing the empowering energy in others generally do not have difficulty sensing their pain. In fact, we absorb their pain so easily that we become confused as to where they end and we begin, causing us to believe that we are responsible for relieving their pain, which we have now confused as being our pain. 

This is where learning to construct effective borders and boundaries, a skill that rarely comes naturally to empaths, becomes essential.

Extending compassion and understanding to another being while they work through their own pain for the sake of healing benefits everyone.

But allowing yourself to take responsibility for another person’s pain by taking it on and becoming a hostage to mistreatment (that you excuse due to an understanding of their pain) hurts everybody involved. None the least of which is you.

If you are recognizing yourself at all here, please pay attention to what I am saying regarding borders and boundaries.

They may not come naturally to some of us, but as with most everything, they can be learned.