“I lost my power in this world, cuz I did not use it.” Lindsey Buckingham

This is one of my favorite Lindsey Buckingham lines to ponder because it’s mind bogglingly true.

When I’m in the midst of a lament about or entangled in a situation where I believe my power has been taken by somebody else, I am reminded of this song verse and it gives me pause, prompting me to rethink my stance:

Um, WHO is the reason behind why I feel powerless? gulp…it can only be me. 

If you’re anything at all like me, the wheels in your head are spinning, trying to come up with a scenario in which somebody else was the reason that you lost your power. Boy, it sure seems like it happens. I mean, I can certainly think of many instances where I believed someone else had taken my power, allowing them to assume a position of power which at that time I  believed to be a power over me.

Think about it all you want, but you will be led back to one solid truth: nobody else has the ability to take your power. I’m not saying there are not people out there who may not try to convince you by their words and behavior that they have power over you, but that is a fallacy; a story you’ve been telling yourself for so long that you now interpret it as truth.

But the fact is, you are no longer a child under the supervision of an adult who is in charge of you and responsible for your well-being and survival. YOU are the adult in charge of you and perfectly able to attend to your own well-being and survival by acknowledging your inherent power in doing so.

We may shy away from this realization because acknowledging it as fact makes us aware that we are truly accountable for the life we’re living and therefore can no longer rest the blame for our circumstances on anyone else.

Believing “I can’t do this because he won’t let me” or “she’ll make my life hell if I don’t do such and such” or “I don’t know what I’ll do, because I’m waiting on what he does first” is an illusion orchestrated by our own fears, often in part due to manipulation imposed on us by others attempting to keep us in our place by believing anyone other than ourselves has power over us.

I understand this thinking because I once subscribed to it myself. Sometimes I still find myself defaulting to and beginning to roll over in that old behavior before I catch myself and acknowledge the truth: I lost my power in this world ‘cuz I did not use it. PERIOD.

So, just how do you go about using your power?

You begin with a willingness to withstand the discomfort involved in standing in your truth regardless of how others may respond to you and what you’re doing.

Say what?

Sorry, let me kick it up a notch for clarity: you have to be okay with pissing people off- it’s a non-negotiable. I say this because people who aren’t using their power are generally pleasers who are afraid of confrontation and rocking the boat. We believe we are protecting ourselves by trying to stay five steps ahead of other people’s reactions to something we may do or say.

The question is, protect ourselves from what? 

Again- you are responsible for your survival. You’re not a helpless child needing to rely on another for your survival, so what are you trying to protect yourself from?

Are you trying to protect yourself from an unnamed danger in your past that is no longer relevant in your life? If so, it is time to name it, claim it, and cast it away from your present life.

If the danger you’re protecting yourself from is a current part of your life, then it is more imperative than ever that you grasp what I’m telling you here. Understanding your power is the key to your freedom.

Ask yourself this: which is scarier- finally standing up to that dragon once and for all or spending your entire life nervously looking around corners for it?

You’ve got the power! When you choose to use it.