Friends with benefits

Friends with benefits According to 
(used as a euphemism) a friend with whom 
one has sex 
without a romantic 
relationship or commitment 

We’re not going to talk about just friends having sex, though it’s an interesting topic. Personally, I don’t think in most cases both parties involved benefit equally. It often seems to me that one person may be completely benefiting, while the other is kidding themself. Because they want more. But they’ll settle for less. Because they’re getting some. But in truth they’re not actually GETTING SOME in the wholehearted manner that those two words should rightfully represent. Which is their call if they have peace with it. So we don’t need to discuss it, except for the fact that I will often find a reason to talk about sex if the opportunity presents itself. And since I’m the presenter I often see to it that it does! But I have a glaring reminder note pinned up on the board in front of my face admonishing me to

“Remember to keep the main thing the MAIN THING.” -Brendon Burchard

I shall do just that. Thank you Brendon. And that main thing is that you do not have to believe to benefit. Believe in what? you may be asking. ANYTHING! is my answer. As in, you don’t have to necessarily believe in information that is presented to you in order for you to receive benefits from it. Much like the way friends with benefits can have “sex without a romantic relationship or commitment” you can receive inspiration or motivation from a message regardless of your “belief in” the messenger if you choose to. The ability to glean benefits from messages you don’t believe in or agree with, align with, particularly “like”, etc.. is a sign of an open mind. An open mind is essential in breaking through the walls of the conditioned thinking that hold you in place, allowing you to see beyond that which you believe you already “know”. Take music, for example. Most of us are partial to certain genres, perhaps even professing to “hate” genres we feel don’t particularly speak to us. In my younger years, long before I’d grasped the message I’m sharing now, I’d have said that I didn’t like the music of Eminem so I didn’t listen to it. I’d have given you several reasons, the main one being that I was turned off by what I perceived to be a chip-on-the-shoulder energy he exuded. I was also bothered by his negative references about other people. But one day the universe threw one of his songs in my lap.


“‘Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give up But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse” -Luis Resto, Nate Dogg, Eminem

Now I heard him. In hearing him I gleaned the benefit of his message at a time time when I needed it. More importantly, I continue to hear the message whenever I’m at a giving up point in an endeavor, reminding me to coach myself onward with empowered thoughts I need to be telling myself. I am reminded to just pull that shit out of me. To not be a quitter, no matter how bad I just want to fall flat on my face and collapse. And I keep going, grateful for the message that inspired me, appreciative that I was given the grace to see past my human conditioned opinions and beliefs, allowing me to collect the benefits.

I’m a broken record in reiterating the fact that you are your own coach because I want you to grasp the fact completely that the most powerful words you are led by are the ones you tell yourself! This is why the most essential thing you can do on your journey is to learn how to speak to yourself in an empowering manner. Always. Without fail. Every time. This is a lofty expectation, but luckily you are not expected to go it alone. In opening your mind and heart rather than relying on the need to believe it first, you will find that messages of encouragement, inspiration, and information are delivered to you on a frequent basis. You don’t need to believe it, or me, for that matter. You simply need to sift through what’s being offered, take out the part that speaks to you and leave the rest behind. People, movies, pictures, stories, music, etc… are part of your benefits package. Are you open to receiving it?

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