Finding your answers

Weight loss is some tricky shit. Well, it seems like it’s some tricky shit anyway. Truthfully, it’s not the actual weight loss itself that’s tricky, because that’s a pretty cut and dry matter, but if you tell that to somebody who is in the midst of a weight loss struggle don’t expect them to agree. As a recovering disordered eater who once knew this struggle well, I’d have been right there with them on that. Until the day when I stopped struggling against my weight by realizing I had never actually been in a struggle with my weight- I’d been in a struggle with my SELF. The weight was just a side-effect. I didn’t need a new diet to eventually take off the pounds- I needed answers that would eventually show me what the driving force was behind the pounds. Answers which could only be found by turning over stones in my life that had thus far gone unconsidered.

When it comes to fitness, most people believe their weight problem or body dissatisfaction has a specific cause and they will tell me this cause when we first meet. They will then tell me what they believe their solution is (“if I just could make myself do the right kind of exercise to be rid of this belly.” or “if I only had the self-control to not snack at night.” or “I just haven’t been given the right diet to follow. If I had the right one that would work for me, I know I could lose the weight for good.” or my personal favorite: “I just need someone to make me do what I should be doing.” If we were working together, I would listen to what you were telling me, because these are your truths as you believe them and are important in their own right, but I would be paying closer attention to the things you don’t realize you’re telling me when you don’t believe you’re telling me anything at all but I’m being shown more than you know. And that’s the magic part. I get shown what I need to see and then I can aid someone in finding their blocks. You can do this very same thing for yourself. It is my belief that we all have this magic if we choose to put it to work for us. So what if I can’t explain how it works?! I can’t explain how the DVR works either but that doesn’t mean I can’t benefit from having it record a show for me. You don’t need to hire someone else to gain this understanding and insight, you just need to pay attention to yourself, allowing your inner coach to guide and serve you. Is it helpful to have outside help if you’re in a position to do so? Certainly, but it’s as I will say over and over again until it sticks: you already have everything you need to get everything you want. And why is this mantra necessary? Because I need to hear it every bit as much as you do. About everything, EVERY time. We ALL do! Our work within is not a job that will ever reach completion. Completion is not the goal- enlightenment is. And this enlightenment journey requires the constant inner coaching that you must take responsibility for giving to yourself.

How do you begin to uncover insights about yourself that will lead to your answers? Consider this another workout to add to your repertoire. Start by slowing down and paying attention to yourself and what you’re being shown. Learn to practice mindfulness as you go about your day and be open-minded toward what you see. Afford yourself the same interest you would give a stranger that you desire getting to know. Pay attention to any incidents, music, films, art, people, etc… that trigger a reaction (happiness, anger, sadness, empathy, indifference, etc…) within you and consider them, rather than judge or automatically label them as good or bad. Forget good or bad and right or wrong and ask instead what your reactions are telling you. Ask for answers. Continue to seek and have faith that you’ll be shown what you need to know as you need to know it. You don’t need to know how your magic works. You just need to believe it does. And then LET IT.

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